w.atching the w.orld unw.ind

So Mrs.D. is doing a late shift down the mines, Number One Son's still away with the faeries down in the West Country and Number One Daughter's gone ten-pin bowling.

So it's dinner for one for Johnny No Mates.

You know what I really like to do when I'm alone in the house?

Yep - guessed it first time.

Eat with my mouth open.

None of this polite, closed-mouth rumination. Good old-fashioned lip-smacking noshing.

Well, you're supposed to enjoy wine better if you inhale over the liquid when it's in your mouth, aren't you? So why not the same with food? Because no-one else wants to watch the cement mixer while it's working, I guess...

So, while I'm mouthing off, a big up for Bruv and his band, who are well on the way to kacking themselves with First Night Nerves. But they'll be a grand band.

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