w.atching the w.orld unw.ind

Regular readers will know that, usually, I post when I get to work, of a morning. But the Company's filters have blatantly blocked Blogger's button for signing in, so I'm having to resort to posting by e-mail. If the links, fonts and html don't work, it's not going to be editable until I get home tonight, by which time any derivable humour will be lost. That'll be a shame, because I think it just might be good enough for a MBWLA point?
Ach well, enough excuses. We're going in...

The premise for this post was inspired by this very funny lady. In case you can't be ar5ed to follow the link (but I thoroughly recommend a tour of her blog - she's absolutely random), basically she posed the question "Could an internal combustion engine operate using methane gas?"
Actually, she asked if a car could run on farts, but that's Canadians for you.

My input developed into something which would have burst her Comments box, so I've expanded on her original theme, but given her full credit for the idea.

Now cows, those queens of the pastures, are famously past masters at the art of fartulence. But I reckon the young boffins at the Ministry of Alternative Fart Fuels have already been down that farm track.

"Dear Dairy (sic)
Today, we stuck a rubber hose up a cow's sphincter and attached the other end to a Bunsen burner. We then measured the heat given off by the flame.
Conclusion: We're gonna re-name this sucker "Jumpin' Jack Flash" (it's a gas, gas, gas.)

Signed
A. Norak and G. Eek

Now I reckon that you could attach a trailer to your car and back up a cow, alliteratively, to some sort of siphon system, so that so-called solids soak away to a septic tank (for slow burn production) while the good gas given off is guided into a pressure cylinder (on a separate trailer, for Health & Safety reasons) for immediate use. You'd also need another trailer to provide the raw materials for gas production - maybe a mini-field, sponsored by Wal-Meadow?

But probably one cow wouldn't be enough, especially for long-haul trips? Udderwise (groan) you'd have to train the AA crews to live on a diet of cabbage and Brussels sprouts, so that if you break down, they'd break wind and give you enough puff to make it to the nearest emergency dairy farm.

So a whole trailer-mounted herd would be required? Quite a caravan. And not one I'd fancy following all the way down to Cornwall. Still, by the time you arrived, you'd be totally self-sufficient in Cornish Clotted Cream...