w.atching the w.orld unw.ind

This is not really a rant against BT. Just a chronological record for the trial...

Individually, I've had nothing but courteous help and advice, Collectively, it's just not joined up communication?

I rang the Broadband Helpline last Monday (so, a week ago today). "We are very busy and your call is in the queue. Please hold the line to speak to an operator."

"Hi - I've lost my Internet connection and there's a sonar ping-like noise on the landline. I've checked the physical connections and re-set the hub via the Hub Manager software."

"We'll test your line. Yes, there's a fault. Give us 48 hours and ring back if it's not fixed"

So I rang on Wednesday. "It's been fixed" they said. No, it hasn't (or I wouldn't be 'phoning, now, would I?)

"Another 24 hours?"

So I rang on Thursday. "Ah, sorry, this is an offline job and you need to 'phone this number." "No, sorry, we can't put you through to save you queueing again. Sorry."

Several different 0800 queues later - "We are very busy and your call is in the queue. Please hold the line to speak to an operator" (and after replacing the filter, as suggested), an engineer called round.

"Nope, it's not your landline, I suspect it's your BT hub."

"No shit, Sherlock."

"Hello BT Broadband Helpline. (Yes, the one where I started.) I've been told....."

"We'll send you another hub. I've generated a Fault Reference Number. You need to 'phone this number. It's this one if you bought the original hub on-line and this one if over the 'phone."

"We are very busy and your call is in the queue. Please hold the line to speak to an operator."

"It looks like your original hub was billed to your telephone?"

"Yes, I 'came back' to BT when we ordered the broadband (on-line) so that everything was BT and I'd only have to make one call to one company."

"Ah, I'm really sorry but I'm not authorised to release the hub because of the way you paid for the original. Sorry, but you need to phone..."

"We are very busy and your call is in the queue. Please hold the line to speak to an operator. You can always report a problem on-line (no, I CAN'T, because my link is broken) or ring this number (what, the one I'm ringing RIGHT NOW?)". Click.

What? What happened to the promise of an operator?

So I chose a completely inappropriately-named option.

"Ah, no, this is the repair department. Sorry. You need to 'phone..."

"But I've just come from there?"

"No, you can't have done. They don't open on Saturdays."

"Would you please ring and establish that they are in fact open, because I'VE JUST COME FROM THERE?"

"Ah, yes, you're right. But they only open 8:00 'til 8:00 and it's now 8:09."

"I know what the time is, because I've been in more queues than Sainsbury's for THE PAST TWO HOURS."

So I lost the will to live and fcuked off to the Goodwood Fesival of Speed. (Pix later)

And got home for Mrs.D. to advise that the hub's fixed itself.

I'm sure I've got a loaded revolver lying around somewhere...

Labels: Broadband