w.atching the w.orld unw.ind

Now don’t ask me how I know this, but in the pr0n industry, there is apparently a convention that in scenes involving double penetration (I’m really not sure about this posting, but here goes) there is a tacit agreement that there must be no testicular contact between the two male actors. It's known as "DP etiquette". Though I doubt you'd find anything about it in the social guides of yore).

Presumably, in such an animalistic ‘act’ (the word being used in both of its senses) there must be no inference of homosexuality? Or maybe it just disturbs the rhythm? Oh dear, I’m really, really not sure about this.

So the agreement is that the lesser well-endowed actor gets the ‘top job’ while the one with big cojones gets the sh!t end of the stick. As it were.

Now there can presumably be few physical secrets among the actors in this particular branch of the industry, but I wondered how they actually decide who gets what. Is there some sort of scaled-down measuring jug which is used to determine position?

Oh, and apparently, at the pr0n equivalent of the Oscars, the lady who got Best Actress said in her Thankyou speech: “This is great. I’m very touched.”

Well – she would say that, wouldn’t she.

I might just pull this post – that’d be a first…