w.atching the w.orld unw.ind

Today's lyric:
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"If you ever feel neglected,
If you think all is lost,
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah,
Hoping everything's not lost."

Coldplay: "Everything's not lost"
From the album: "Parachutes"

* Peers round door *

Gawd, it does look deserted here, doesn't it?

My only excuse is that I'm now officially a department of one, the 'phone is constantly ringing its head off and my unread e-mails now total 563. No, make that 564, another's just arrived..

Still, am off on holiday soon. Somewhere in Portugal. Don't know exactly where, but who cares. I'll be off.

So if anyone wants to be literally involved in this 'ere blog, feel free to volunteer.

Obviously that doesn't include you as you're coming to El Porto with me. And you're going to study that bl00dy Nitrox manual, what like I did!

Nyerr.

Today's lyric:
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"I have a TV screen of some 32 inches
TV dinner and an easy chair
From where I view a disaster
And switch the channel fast
And thank my lucky star I wasn't there
The world's in a hurry but I don't have to worry
There's a movie on with a happy end
I've seen it before but I can see it some more
So I don't have to go out and pretend."

The Hellacopters: "Everything's on tv"
From the album: "Air Raid Serenades"

Yesterday was the 100th anniversary of the Fleet Air Arm (the Royal Navy's Air Force) and they decided to launch a phalanx of choppers from HMS Illustrious (moored down in Greenwich) and perform a flypast up the Thames. Representing one of every type of whirlybird they've ever flown.

So I pegged it down to Tower Bridge for 12 noon, to find that the east walkway was closed to pedestrians - meaning that any shots of the display coming upstream would have to be taken through carefully-timed gaps in the buses and lorries passing in front of me in both directions.

But the worst decision for your intrepid snapper was whether to take a shot of a single helicopter (waste of effort when variety was the theme) or a group of them in flight looking skyward (so no obvious clue to where the event was taking place) or wait until they reached the far skyline (seen from the 'good' side of the bridge) and give the flight some perspective.

So they all looked like a bunch of orderly flies in a very dark sky that was more like 12 midnight!.

Enjoy your weekends, y'all.

Today's lyric:
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"I don't need no doctor
'Cause I know what's ailing me
I don't need no doctor
'Cause I know what's ailing me
All I need is my baby
You don't know I'm in misery."

New Riders of the Purple Sage: "I don't need no doctor"
From the album: "Powerglide"

It seems like only yesterday that we were celebrating, then last Thursday NoD had her doctorate conferred upon her in the beautiful Guildford Cathedral (where they filmed "Omen").

A memorable day - closure, even - and again the sun shone*, as was befitting the effort she's put in over the last 11 years.

And now to earn some proper money.

"Essex Boatyards? Are you open today?"

* Obviously no pix will be posted. Privacy is everything.

Today's lyric:
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"Here come, here come, here come
The station is bombed
Get out get out get out you people
If you don't wanna get blown up."

The Clash: "Police and Thieves"
From the album: "The Clash"

I'm the first to remove my tie when it's going home time. And as soon as I get home, I change out of suit and boots into t-shirt and jeans.

But the strong recommendation today to dress down for my usual day in the City, means that I'm thus attired because of the hint of anarchy - and therefore my choice is removed?

And I resent that. Very much.

So while I support every individual's right to demonstrate, just don't get in my feckin' way today, or my set-to-shiny camera will be making a strong, physical connection with your unwashed face.

Nuff said?

Today's lyric:
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"Glitter on the mattress
Glitter on the highway
Glitter on the front porch
Glitter on the highway."

B52s: "Love Shack"
From the album: "The Best Of"

Against the chill of the weekend, I encountered this year's first bumblebee.

You know, those fat, buzzy things that - aerodynamically - shouldn't fly but - manifestly - do.

Now apparently these little fellers are suffering all sorts of depredations and viruses, and if they don't recover, the known world will stop revolving on its axis?

So please don't greet them with a Scottish Wave (wild flapping of hands, as in fending off hordes of midges) or twat them with a badminton racquet (though that is a very effective way of dealing with picnic wasps) and we may all live a little longer.

And the reason for this post's title? One of the questions in Mrs D's crossword was "Bees' house", which she knew was Apiary, but didn't know why.

Apis is Latin for bee.

See - you come here for diversion and get ejjerkatid?

(and get Bee52 lyrics into the bargain)

Today's lyric:
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"Say I'm a sun fanatic but it's dark in your attic
And your cat sleeps on my head
I know I'm not a football star
but I wanna little better than that!"

Rod Stewart: "Los Paraquayos"
From the album: "Never a dull moment"

There's a cat in there, somewhere...


And one for Birdie..

Today's lyric:
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"If you wanna know about the mad punk rockers
If you wanna know how to play guitar
If you wanna know 'bout any other suckers
You can read it in the Sunday papers."

Joe Jackson: "Sunday papers"
From the album: "Look sharp"

I'm often amazed by having fully-formed 'plots' swimming in my head as I'm waking?

Bearing in mind I do have a Creative Common License down there on the right, how about this for an ad-man's pitch?

Now I know that newspapers rarely advertise themselves on tv, but this only works in a visual way. This is the storyboard for one of those papers which proclaims to be printed in ink which will not come off onto your hands:

Scene: On the tube (London Underground for the hard-of-understanding)

A row of several, seated commuters are reading identical newspapers, except for one which is - for example - the Metro.

All are wearing white gloves (except the Metro reader) and the voice-over explains that "To read our paper, you don't need to become a snooker referee (and/or join a secret society?) because the newsprint doesn't come off on your hands."

"So when you've finished reading, you're free to do whatever you want."

Cut to the Metro reader, rummaging in his ear with a finger

Second cut to the man, with a finger fast approaching a nostril..

Pan to a view through the man's eyes of a lovely, strap-hanging girl, reading a newspaper - a very cute bottom accentuated by a very clingy dress

The camera focusses on the man's hand stretching out, just as the lights flicker momentarily - as they do on the tube - and the sound of a smack.

Cue lights coming back on - the camera returning to the man's face in profile, with a full, inky handprint on his cheek and a very embarrassed expression.

Now what would make a good, closing ad-phrase?

Answers in the Commenty box, please...